SPOOFE (jmspoofe) wrote,

I know I'm always harping on and on about stem cells, man, stem cells. Well, I ain't just blowing smoke (well, sometimes I am, but I'm abstaining for the next week or so). But no... scientists now know how to turn stem cells into brain cells from start to finish. We're looking at the cure for alzheimers, parkinson's, and just general unstable psychotic looniness that at least one person we know is afflicted with. To me, someone that got to witness first-hand the results of insanity, this is a hell of a step.

Thirty, forty, fifty years from now, there won't be any more "excercise"... you just drive thru McStemcell's and get a few injections in your pecs, biceps, quads, etc. and suddenly you're a Mr. Universe contestant. Don't wanna go bald? Stem cells to your scalp. Want bigger tits? Bigger dick? Bigger fingers? New liver? Extra liver? Stem cells, man. Stem cells.

Lose your arm in an automobile accident? Call Larry H. Stemcell, they'll grow you a new one lickety-split. Lost your nuts to testicular cancer? Hell, you can have 'em back with an extra pair for good measure. Going blind? Grow new eyes! Soon, there'll be no reason you have to die, as long as your brain is intact. We're on the verge of having to redefine our entire existences... no more start-stop cycle bullshit, but a continuous, never-ending voyage... to eternity.

Now if only they can find some way for stem cells to make you lose weight, and I'll be set.
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